Posted by: JulieAloha | May 24, 2017

365 Gratitude Project – Day 144: Health Update

May 24, 2017

Well, I’m glad to report my blood pressure is down and my blood sugar is lower, but still not where we’d like it to be. I can’t test my A-1C or cholesterol for a few months – both were extremely high and very worrisome – but I’m taking metformin and lisinopril and doctor just switched me from Simvastatin to Atorvastatin (Lipitor) to more aggressively attack my cholesterol levels. I’m trying really hard to eat well – especially when I was on vacation – but I’m also fighting depression, to which I usually react by eating the wrong things. I have a couple of Diabetes Education Classes scheduled for later in June, that should help inform me on making good health decisions. Since I’ve been home I haven’t walked as much as I did over vacation and sleep has been somewhat elusive as well – I keep having vivid dreams and nightmares, many of them about my ex-, and they’re taking a toll – so my blood sugar levels have been fairly inconsistent. It’s a day by day thing.

I suppose it’s normal to have a bit of a letdown when you return from vacation, to feel a little blue – I think one of my main problems is that I’m so lonely – except for when I’m at work I spend most of my time alone. I don’t drink and I don’t have a lot of money to go out anyway. I don’t have many connections outside of work – I used to spend all of my extracurricular time hanging out with my ex- and the woman who’s his new girlfriend, but that was before they started seeing each other and cut me out of their lives entirely. Now I’m all by myself and I just don’t have the confidence or social skills to go out looking for someone to hang with. I do spend the occasional evening with friends from work or with my Mom, but nothing on a regular basis – I don’t even play online games anymore because I started playing them with my ex- and I cut myself off from everyone on League of Legends and World of Warcraft last winter when I was so sad and depressed – those games aren’t as fun anymore without him.

I need to stop whining, I want to stop being so sad, I wish I felt as if I hadn’t wasted my life waiting for love, for a family, for a life I thought would be very different – I know I’m not alone in these feelings, but I’m alone in my head, in my life and right now very alone in my heart.

It’s hard to feel grateful today. See yesterday’s entry. 

 


Responses

  1. Hi, Julie. If and when you feel you’re ready to go out and meet some new people, may I suggest you look at Meetup.com? Because most/many of the groups are focused on a particular theme, if you find a group about something you like, then you know that the people you meet in the group will have at least one thing in common with you. I found that incredibly helpful… I wasn’t walking up to a “complete” stranger, as I knew one thing about them already 🙂

    Like

    • Thanks, Ali – that’s good advice ❤️

      Like


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